Why A First Look?
ITS TRUE! Every chance I get I confess my love for first looks….and recently I realized there was no home on the blog for my reasons why! So that’s what I’m going to share today! This is a long one, BUT GOOD ONE. So BUCKLE UP :)
There is a reason that whenever a bride asks me my opinion on whether they should do a bride and groom first look I always recommend YES! They’re AWESOME!!! But the reality of it is not everyone realizes how awesome they are because they get so caught up in first looks being so “un-traditional” that they don’t give it a second thought. I honestly can talk about those brides….BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF THOSE BRIDES!!!! YIKES. I feel like I have shared some of my wedding story on the blog in some places before, but I will say this….. I had 0 ( ZEEERRRRROOOOOOO) portrait time on my wedding day because of many reasons, but one of them being it wasn’t prioritized! I can say that was my fault, or the person doing our pictures. The way things unfolded on my wedding day was out of my control, and I really wish me and Justin would have done a first look so we could have gotten some portraits of just us!
OK OK….I wasn’t going to share this here, but why not. Here is a tiny snippet of my wedding day and how it unfolded to give you an example of what I mean when I say first looks can make or break portrait time sometimes on your wedding day! Me and Justin were supposed to have a sunset lakeside wedding ceremony. We knew the risks when we decided to do the ceremony at sunset instead of earlier in the day, but it was something we really wanted. To say “I DO” under a cotton candy sky of colors with the peaceful sound of light waves from the water. It would have given us enough time for the ceremony and some time for sunset portraits right before it set too much and was dark. Sounds heavenly right? All was going great……until our efficient didn’t show up UNTIL 9 O CLOCK THAT NIGHT! (INSERT BLOWING UP HEAD HERE PLZ) That was the reality of my day. Nobody could get ahold of her. Nobody knew what was happening. But I was so caught up in the fact that me and Justin couldn’t see each other until the ceremony that we lost every bit of portrait time we had. Had we done a first look earlier in the day….it would have softened the blow of having our efficient so late because we would have already had AMPLE time at that point for portraits.
After experiencing my own wedding and shooting many others…I’ve come to this conclusion! Sure, some brides love that traditional “waiting until the isle” moment. But what a bride really wants is the REACTION! Those that tend to wait until the ceremony think that having a first look will ruin his reaction when you come down the isle and its not his first time seeing you. They also assume that it will not be as emotional or as intimate as it would be if they were coming down the isle. Everyone knows that wedding days are stressful for the bride and groom. The whole day is focused on them! They need to look their best. They need to be on time. The groom has no idea what side the bout goes on and the bride isn’t sure how to place her veil in her hair that just took 3 hours to be done because it wasn’t practiced, and little by little…. the tension grows.
All of this is before the ceremony and the heaviness of what’s about to happen sinks in and the calm, collected groom that was hanging and laughing with his friends all morning is now starting to feel anxious. So now what? The groom is waiting in a little room somewhere waiting for his que from the coordinator it’s his time to walk down the isle. That brief moment feels like it takes FOREVER when you are anxious. The coordinator finally leans in and hurries the groom to get ready. With sweaty palms the groom enters the ceremony with the efficient……and what is welcoming him? Anywhere from 70-300 people and they are ALL staring at HIM! Right at his face….because EVERYONE (not just brides) has expectations and anticipation about what his first reaction is going to be seeing her. THIS is the FURTHEST thing from a private, intimate moment. Yes, its powerful and still sweet. But at the same time its SCARY! Yes, walking down the aisle is so so magical. But when you add on all of the nerves, all of the eyes watching, all of the expectations, all of the cameras out, the pressure is on. When you see each other, you can’t hug or embrace like you want, there is no communication. He can’t tell you how beautiful you are, or you tell him how handsome he is, its straight into the ceremony.
When you have a first looks it allows you to feel all of those nervous feelings with each other privately instead of trying to hold it together in front of lots of people. You can hug. You can embrace. You can cry. You can laugh. You can talk. You are free to do whatever you want to make those nervous subside! AND THEY WILL! There is 100% relief after first looks because the waiting is over. Its peaceful. Its calm. The nerves are gone, and true emotions are free to be expressed without hesitation.
SO if I were to condense all of this, it would be that Grooms specifically become incredibly nervous on wedding days….even when they seem calm! For most grooms, the nerves kick in right before they see the bride because when they see her it all of a sudden becomes VERY real! So when the nerves start creeping up instead of keeping the groom in a small room waiting for his turn to walk at the ceremony….what if you took him to a private place….no people, no on-lookers, no distractions…and you let the love of his life gently call his name to turn around and watch her walk to him. He would finally get his first look at his bride and not only get to see her…he could HUG HER, cry with her, laugh with her, kiss her right away and ENJOY that moment with her for as long as they need. As she shows him her dress…twirls a couple of time as asks what he thinks, his nerves start to go away. After all, she is the only one that can make him feel comfortable anyway!
They aren’t on a time crunch. There isn’t a planner yelling “15 minutes left”, and there is no pressure. Its just the two of them, and the photographer capturing the excitement of the moment and joy on their wedding day. This is their time to be ALONE together. When does that happen on a wedding day without a first look? Usually never. Its GO GO GO. After their romantic portraits after the first look they meet up with their best friends as bridal party joins them and they still have plenty of time to spare! The bride touches up makeup while the boys go act like boys. After a few minutes the bridal party portraits begin and they are FUN! Why? Because the nerves are gone, and there is time to make them fun! There isn’t any family waiting impatiently at cocktail hour for family photos, and the DJ isn’t trying to find the photographer to get a time check. It’s just THE BEST!!
After portraits are done the girls and guys separate and prepare for the ceremony! The guest start to pour in and pretty soon its time for the processional music to begin. All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen filter in how they rehearsed to the front of the ceremony. His hands are clenched…but not out of nerves, out of excitement! The music plays and they all stand for the bride. The groom looks up and here comes his BRIDE!!!! His best friend. His love. She is stunning! The closer she gets…the bigger his smile!
** I want to add ** My couples are NEVER required to do a first look. AT ALL! This is totally up to them. I used to feel bad for sharing my opinion on why I loved first looks because I didn’t want them to feel like they HAD to decide that. I have seen the benefits of having a first look first hand, and so now I love sharing that option! It’s totally OK if my couples choose not to have a first look, its just always my preference to do one!
Couples who opt for a First Look experience these benefits:
You are investing a lot into your wedding photography, and with a first look, you get 40% MORE portraits of the two of you, and those are the images you share on social media and put in frames in your first home! This is a huge investment for you and so obviously photography is a BIG deal. With a first look , you make the most out of a big investment and get the most for your money!
First looks allow you to extend your wedding day! Normally it all starts when the bride walks down the aisle, then the ceremony ends…. we have to rush through portraits so that you're not late for introductions and then its reception time. When you do a first look your wedding day is extended by almost 2-3 hours! Instead of being rushed for bridal party portraits, you actually get to enjoy them and have fun with your BEST friends! The whole first half of your wedding album is filled with images from this time together! It’s so nice to be able to relax and get great images!
First looks allow you to be TOGETHER and ALONE on your wedding day! It really is one of the only chances throughout your day to be truly alone! It gives you the chance to feel every emotion you need to…and then it will put you in the perfect mood for your romantic portraits right after! Normally portraits are rushed after family formals and it can be hard to get back into that “lovey dovey” mood…especially with family around!
YOU GET RID OF NERVES!!!! And MAN, what a blessing that is, especially on your wedding day!!!! I would say at least half of my couples that have done a first look it was the groom that wasn’t a huge fan of it. But in reality, because they have never experienced a wedding day before of their own, they don’t realize how nerve racking it can be. First looks help you be much more relaxed and ready for the ceremony, and in my opinion makes the ceremony images look SO much more natural!!
YOU HAVE INSURANCE FOR IF IT RAINS!!!!!! This is probably the biggest reason of my love for First Looks!!!! Is it real insurance? Haha no. But it’s a backup plan for if it rains after the ceremony! And let me tell you…. that has happened MANYYYY times! When you have a first look you have 2 time slots dedicated to bride and groom portraits! Even if it rains the rest of the day its ok because you did a first look earlier and got ample photos! Anything after the ceremony would just be for fun and extra! In the photos below, if you look closely, you can see the rain around them and on his jacket! It started raining during the ceremony but we squeezed in just a few more portraits after before it got to heavy, but it was no big deal because we had so many portraits of them from before the ceremony!
Thanks for reading
XOXO, Sam